Searching for Mrs. Cubbison...

Mrs. Cubbison is an elusive woman to say the very least.

What follows is a true story of one family's quest to find Mrs. Cubbison. It is a tale of desire, heartbreak, and finally success when the family finds Mrs. Cubbison. The tale begins on rather cold (at least by Dallas standards), cloudy Dallas day. Though the weather was foreboding, the family was well prepared and excited about the impending search. The research had been completed days before, and a game plan was set. IT WAS GO TIME.

And GO the family went. They hopped into their chariot, errrr car, and embarked on their journey. The family should have known there were going to be problems, when on their way to the freeway, they got lost. Mind you, this is a rarely used freeway by the family and all of its secrets have not been revealed. Luckily, through some skillful navigation and frisky driving, the family made it onto Interstate 30 east towards Texarkana. Luckily, the family was NOT driving all the way to Texarkana, but merely 5 miles up the road to St. Francis Dr where they were HOPING to find Mrs. Cubbison.

Though still in Dallas, the family was in unknown surroundings and very close to the Mesquite border. Scary ground for a family venturing into new territory. After finding a place for their chariot, errrr car, they bravely approached the house of Mrs. Cubbison. They cautiously approached the door and entered. AND THERE WERE LIGHTS EVERYWHERE, SOUND COMING FROM EVERYWHERE, AND THE PEOPLE, LOTS OF THEM!!! The initial fright might have scared away mere mortals, but this family was determined to find Mrs. Cubbison. Slowly, they made there way through the crowded building to the place where Mrs. Cubbison was supposed to be. Feeling secure in their research and knowledge, they approached with great aplomb.

HARK, there it WAS!!! The mission was over... OR WAS IT. Upon closer inspection it was not Mrs. Cubbison herself, but her two cousins. One cousin though very nice and friendly, wasn't the Mrs. Cubbison they were in search of. The other cousin, was quite unfriendly and definitely would not meet their tastes. So the matriarch asked a local if they knew where Mrs. Cubbison was, since we were sure she was going to be there. The local replied, that while Mrs. Cubbison was normally there she had taken a mental day. They were hoping she would be back tomorrow.

As the dejected family walked away, the local whispered a rumor to us, "I don't know this for sure, but she might be moonlighting at her other house in Garland." The family though discouraged, was buoyed by this rumor. So with a spring in their step, they headed to their chariot and headed back onto the freeway. Things were going decently, when one member of the family asked if they knew where this other house was located in Garland. The patriarch exclaimed that YES he knew where it was. And off they went. From I-30 to I-635 the loop. From the loop to a mysterious road called Garland (yes its fitting that the store was located on Garland road in Garland) and then trouble!!!!

The roads in Garland are fraught with danger because they are poorly labeled and all cross each other in a diagonal fashion. After a few scouting circles, translated they circled because they were lost, the youngest family member said, "HARK, there is GARLAND ROAD." Success was there for the taking. Unfortunately, Garland road is the most treacherous of roads and Mrs. Cubbison's Garland house was not easy to see from the road. Off in the distance, there, there it was. Mrs. Cubbison's house. The family approached with great caution this time. They entered the building and again.. LIGHTS, SOUNDS, PEOPLE. The family did their best to ignore this outside stimulation and to focus on their goal. They walked with a furious pace and confidence rarely seen in a building like this. There it was, the place where Mrs. Cubbison lived.

"DAMMIT!!!" yelled the matriarch of the family. "How many cousins does this Mrs. Cubbison have?", exclaimed the matriarch. As it turns out she has many cousins, many cousins indeed.

The family was bewildered and confused. All that research and prior planning was for naught. Not to mention, they were far from home in a strange land called Garland. The question at this point was how to get home. A caucus was held by the family and a course was laid out. The drive was mostly uneventful, until...

The youngest member of the family said, "I saw in my research that Mrs. Cubbison has one last home. It's in west Dallas." The family groaned with disappointment and bitterness. West Dallas isn't a place for foreigners to go. The family again caucused and decided to risk it. Why you might ask? Simply put, Mrs. Cubbison is worth it. She had to be found. The family was not going to miss out on not having Mrs. Cubbison over for Thanksgiving. She hadn't come for Thanksgiving in past years, and this family was not going to let her miss another Thanksgiving feast. So they decided to go to West Dallas.

That in hindsight, was a poor decision. I-30 in west Dallas, has some major problems with it. First, it was originally a toll road which means it has limited access. Second, the road is in a perpetually state of construction. Lastly, the family only had a mere notion of where they might be going. They were going to rely on their gut instincts and hope for the best. While at cruising speed, the HOUSE was spotted, but alas there was no exit to be found. So the family headed west, hoping to reverse their course. After a few miles, they found their way off the road and found a way to go east.

What happened next, is not for the faint of heart. The family approached the final house with much caution. While trying to find a place to park the chariot, people were attempting to impede the family's way. A pack of wily "gray hairs" came out of the building with a rush rarely seen in the wild, but there they were. This was a rare moment, but not a welcome moment. The whole pack of them blocked the only route in which the family could continue. Luckily the "gray hairs" lost interest and they passed. The family continued on their journey. "Watch out!!!," screamed the youngest family member. Thanks to quick maneuvers disaster was avoided. A woman driving her motorized contraption (read wheelchair provided by the house) decided to leave the contraption in the middle of the road. Mind you she was getting into her own chariot, and was planning on leaving the contraption in the MIDDLE of the road. The family should have known better but continued.

This house was even scarier because someone had been hurt in Mrs. Cubbison's house. Luckily, she was being taken care of and the family could sneak by. They approached cautiously and there it was. Another one of Mrs. Cubbison's cousins. FAILURE. The family moped back to the chariot for the long ride home. Their quest had been thwarted because Mrs. Cubbison didn't want to be found. Their only choice was to go home and regroup. Would they try and find Mrs. Cubbison at her original home tomorrow or did they have another trick up their sleeve?

The family sat down at home with a feeling of dejection. The youngest member of the family was particularly distraught. He thought to himself, "How could all my research be for nothing." So he took a chance.

AND LIKE THAT, ALL WAS RIGHT W/ THE WORLD!!! The sun appeared and angels sang. Mrs. Cubbison would be coming to Thanksgiving dinner this year. The family was overjoyed and patted each other on the back for a job well done.

Where did we find Mrs. Cubbison?

Go HERE to find out.